10th October 2019

Baby’s it’s cold outside ❄️

Dear Littlest Pea,

Today was a tough day. I had my glucose test and after it started so well, it took a sudden turn as I almost passed out in the waiting area. I was terrified, not just because I was rapidly losing my sight and hearing, but because I was worried about you. You seemed to know this because despite my body giving up slightly, you were there kicking away the whole time. In fact you didn’t stop, you gave me constant reminders you were ok and we were in this together. Well that’s what I like to think; the midwives seemed to think you were just telling me you were hungry and were saying “feed me, Mummy”!!🙈 maybe they were right because when we finally made it to the end of the test and I had a packet of crisps, you stopped kicking!

It happened almost an hour into the test. I’d already had my bloods taken and drank the super sweet drink. We were doing great, sat in the waiting area as I was writing about our second trimester together in my pregnancy journal. Then all of a sudden I text your daddy to say I felt sick. Then in seconds I went clammy and dizzy. I kept blinking, but it was quickly getting worse so I said to a lady sat next to me “excuse me, I feel really dizzy”. Bless her, she quickly ran for help even though she was pregnant too. Within seconds she returned with a midwife and when they got to me my hearing was almost gone and I could just hear echos. I could feel myself panicking thinking if I collapse, what if I fell on to you? How could I protect you if I fainted?

Thankfully they almost carried me to a bed and once I laid down my senses came back and you started kicking like you’ve never kicked before. I held my tummy tight, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for having to put you through this with me, but also thank you for making sure I didn’t feel alone.

I’m now really anxious about getting the result back as I know if it is positive, that will change all my plans for your birth. But at the same time I know we will figure it out and one way or another, you will be in my arms soon enough!

Love you,

Mummy x